4 Years

We started out like this....

Then I made the best decision ever and this happened...

Four years later and our family looks like this.....

I am so happy and grateful for where my life has taken me. I know not many would want to get married so young and have kids pretty close off the bat but that is the choice that I thoughtfully and happily made. Being married to Kyle was the best decision ever. He is my best friend and words cannot describe how utterly happy he makes me. This guy is the cheesiest, smartest, most faithful, loving man I know. So glad I have him by my side to share in many more memories where we can grow together. I love you suckafish!

My Miracle Skirt

Two weekends ago some friends offered to watch Max so that Kyle and I could make a trip to the temple together. We excitedly jumped at the opportunity and after a wonderful session at the temple we made our way back to the car. Kyle was really hungry (It was 7pm at this point and we had not eaten dinner yet) but we were close to Target which is annoyingly out of the way in Spokane. I checked with our friends and they told us to take our time. So I batted my eyes and pouted my lips and Kyle agreed for a short stop on the terms of checking out their diaper bags.

It was totally not the real reason I wanted to go. I wanted to go because I had been eyeing a particular skirt in the maternity section since it had come out in February and I was waiting for it's thirty dollar price tag to drop. I had been checking online every so often but sometimes Target likes to play tricky and has secret store sales that don't always match with online sales (I am pretty sure every major store does this and sometimes it's vice versa). I hurried to the skirt and alas. It was the same thirty dollar price that it had started out at.

I didn't need the skirt but when you are pregnant you get old of the same 5 outfits really quick, so it is nice to add something to jazz everything up. I really wanted the skirt and showed it off to Kyle, declaring my love for it and it's beauty and and and.... Except I knew that even though it was only thirty dollars, we could not afford it.

I don't say this to bring a pity party to the table, just to say that having a husband in grad school with an incredibly minimal income coming in from work study, loans, and odd jobs does not put a lot of money in the bank. Sometimes this depresses me terribly but I am grateful for this time in our lives to learn to live frugally and within a budget.

So we walked out of the store empty handed. I was noticeably disheartened (pregnancy hormones will make you sad over a skirt! SHOCKER!) and as we left the parking lot, Kyle pointed out a Value Village. He suggested we stop in (that love of mine knows how to cheer me up) even though he was crazy hungry. I resisted, I wasn't even in the mood for thrifting. But he insisted and so I reluctantly agreed and then I had this glimmer of a thought and it was a crazy thought. What if the skirt was there?

Impossible. Right? I shook the thought out of my head based on the fact that the skirt was still full price in the store, it was still warm weather and who would get rid of such a beautiful stripey skirt?

We walked in and I walked toward the maternity section....and then I saw it. Not even on a hanger, draped over the rack as someone who had been looking at it and decided against it (the fool!). My heart pounded, surely it couldn't be THE skirt. But it was, and it was in my size.

I ran to Kyle with the skirt and held it up and he looked as shocked as I did. For seven dollars we could definitely afford the skirt now.

As we left the store with my precious miracle skirt in hand we mulled over how crazy the circumstance had been and because I believe in a loving Heavenly Father who knows me personally and knows the desires of my heart, I couldn't help but draw a connection.

Does Heavenly Father care about a skirt? No, but he cares about me.

I believe that He loves me and sometimes He shows that love in ways that feel deeply personal even though they may seem trivial to the outside viewer. I didn't need the skirt and certainly would have lived without it, but sometimes our spirits need lifted and so we get a free ice cream, a movie voucher, or the perfect skirt.

He blesses us so often and in so many ways that sometimes I think we can  become numb to His immense generosity. Do we even realize how He blesses us? Do we write off that extra twenty dollar tip as luck or human generosity? I believe His hand is in all the good that comes our way and this skirt reminds me to always remember how readily He blesses me. How quick He is to show me He cares, even about the silly things I care about.

My Pregnant Mind is a Fickle Thing

So after I posted my wishlist I got a lot of great feedback from friends on better options. This was welcome because I love hearing about new/cheaper items. But, it also made me realize how fickle I can be about choices sometimes.

Normally (i.e. when I am not pregnant) I have a pretty difficult time making decisions. In college I remember my friend making fun of me for constantly calling my mom to ask her opinion about rather trivial purchases. But I was treading new waters and although my mom couldn't visually see the colors on the boxes of hair dye, it comforted me to talk it over with her and get another opinion.

When I am pregnant however, I feel like it is even worse though. Just ask my husband. Every night I lay down and go over the pros and cons of particular items. I am sure I am driving him nuts, and really I drive myself nuts with it sometimes. But I can't stop. I care about quality, durability and style and I want to make sure something is going to last and work well for me.

Long story short I am revising my wishlist and sharing it with whoever reads this just because these are two products that one friend (thank you Elisabeth!) shared with me and I keep going over and over and I just can't let go of.

First: Lotus Travel Crib

My friend has this and told me she absolutely loved it. It's design is genius (the zipper!) and I love that the mat goes straight on the ground. This was my biggest concern regarding the Chicco LX playard because with our previous playyard the fact that the mattress was always suspended caused it to take a bent effect after awhile which gives me major mommy guilt. This is nice and flat and I love that you don't have to suffer with the dreaded lowering-them-and-they-wake-up fear. Also it is made without  PVC, Phthalates, Lead or PBE/PBDE Flame Retardants which in my mind have no use in baby products. Plus it is not ridiculously expensive like the Bjorn travel crib that looks very similar and all the reviews rave of impeccable customer service. 

2. The Diaper Bag.

Over the weekend I took a little trip to Nordstrom to check out the Petunia Boxy Glazed Backpack bag. I thought I liked it after hearing reviews from moms and knowing it was a quality investment piece but boy oh boy, I really didn't like it in person. It was beautiful really but I felt like I was forcing myself to like a dressed up box. Seriously. When they call it boxy, it is REALLY boxy. It is like you have a box strapped to your back or side (depending on which straps you are using). I also realized as pretty as the patterns are, I tend to like my bags to be a little less flowery. It's a diaper bag and I am sure it functions wonderfully but I realized that I really don't like traditional diaper bags. It's me, not them. Then I saw my friend's beautiful bag and I asked her where she got it: Baggu

These bags are canvas (i.e. durable and washable) and beautifully made. I especially love the Sailor Stripe pattern and Poppy color. Now I am just trying to decide on the Duck Bag (crossbody) or the Backpack. They are both extremely affordable and spacious and I know I will be getting one or the other but man this fickle mind of mine has to mull it over a lot more. Because a diaper bag is a crucial thing you know.....

Right....

So what do you think? Backpack or Duck Bag? Sailor Stripe or Poppy?

Labor can be amazing.

When I was pregnant with Max I really wanted to attempt a natural birth. I ended up getting an epidural during transition phase (which I know now is when most women who want a natural birth end up getting an epidural) and it isn't that I regret that decision but I still believe my body is capable of a completely natural birth.

I wanted to take Bradley classes but they were not offered where we were living at the time with Max and so this time around I was really excited to have the opportunity to learn more about pregnancy, labor, birth, and how to build my relationship with my husband so that he can be my main support. We meet once a week for twelve weeks and thanks to awesome friends who babysit Max for us we haven't missed a class. I absolutely love it.

Yesterday our teacher showed us this amazing video, she has shown us a lot of inspiring videos but this one gave me the good shivers. It's not graphic at all. Just a woman singing BEAUTIFULLY through contractions. Her husband plays the guitar and clearly she sings a lot but what a beautiful way to experience labor. It reminds me that labor does not have to be fraught with fear of pain but can be filled with beautiful, harmonious (in both senses of the word) moments.

This video inspired me to really look into music that will help my experience. I love singing and I especially love music with inspiring messages and beautiful harmonies that I can sing along to. I have compiled a short list of artists and groups but I am curious if anyone can help think of other suggestions. Think along the lines of Colbie Caillat, India. Arie, Francesca Battistelli, Hanson (yes, that Hanson), and Mindy Gledhill.

So this got on here late.  But it needs to be here!
This is going to be a unique post.  It is not written by Gidget, but by Kyle unbeknownst to her at this very point in time that I am posting it. It is an ode to her amazing mothering-ness.  I thought it fitting to post it here, since this is a record of experiences from her point of view, I want to show how they may be affecting the ones she loves so fully on this special day. Although all of it cannot be truly captured by the low-tech blog media or my lack of expressive talent, I will try because she is truly an inspiration and most importantly the love of my life.

Mother’s Day is not contained within the limits of your own Mom, Grandma, Step-Mom, or whoever, but extends to the Moms, (sisters, aunts, motherships, baby-mamas, etc…)  you see around you, and of course - more seriously; to women in general, because we can admire and praise the inherent qualities of nurture, love, and beauty that they have whatever their official Mom-status may be. 

In light of all of this, I hope that people everywhere (especially us manly men) use our actions and words to show our gratitude, appreciation, and love for the wonderful women in our lives. And do so consistently too!  To go a step further I wanted to take some liberties and provide some words for those individuals, or at least one individual that I know, who have or will have this respect and love I speak of, but can’t currently express it. 

In other words let’s suspend some disbelief and say that this is a post:

To: Mom

From: Max

 

                Dear Mama,

I first off want to thank you for carrying me in your belly for almost 10 months.  That was legit!  Oh, and thanks for eating well too, cause I loved me those nutrients.  But the thanks you deserve begins well before that even, I need to thank you for doing a few things before I was even a complete thought.  Those have played a huge role in making you the best mom ever too.

 

Thank you for learning, seeking out good things, and listening to your conscience.  Thank you for all of the good, better, and best choices you made over the years to be an amazing person and someone I could look up to as an example of knowledge, love, and spirituality.

 

Thank you actually liking this guy…

…and for loving and marrying him too.  Turns out he’s pretty alright.

 

Thanks for being a beautiful bride in white.

Now my opinion is extra biased on the next subject, but I think it is awesome that you chose to pray, listen heavenward, and really consider starting a family even at a young age. That takes faith and courage these days! 

Thank you for graduating from UW with honors, thoughtfully considering, and then un-pursuing a sure spot in a Master’s degree program, all to have me instead. I feel worth it every day by the way you live true to that choice, and by the way that you love me unreservedly.

Next I should thank you for welcoming me into the world perfectly.  I feel nothing short of the best gift you ever got.

 

Thank you for leading the way. 

 You show me the magic and fun in everyday life!

And you have great hair!

 

 

 

Just look at you…

 

Need I say more?

You make me feel like this every day:

 

you teach me all kinds of things all of the time. 

How to be gentle and to love

 

You teach me about the world and the many new and exciting things around me.

 

You go into uncomfortable places and circumstances to expand my mind.

you protect me like a mama bear too.

Thank you for all of those.

Thank you for showing me ice-cream too.  That’s definitely at the top of the list of favorites! 

Thanks for going above and beyond too.  What do I mean by that?  Well, you will go the extra mile to make a day exciting for me, and for others too!  You organize events, spend time setting up play-dates, music-groups, story-times, and whatever else you name it.  You let me explore and enjoy many things.

That was way fun. Thanks for letting me be messy.

Thanks for cleaning me up too.  Over and over again. 

Even if I do this.

Thanks for putting up with me when it’s hard to.

Thank you for letting me crash in the most comfortable and secure arms in the world.

You even sit out of fun things for you to comfort me. Don’t think I didn’t notice that the broom-ball game of the century was on the line, but you sat out for most of it to keep me warm and happy… and then body-checked some fools!

 

 

 

It doesn’t go unnoticed.  It doesn’t go unfelt.  I love you.

 

Thanks for also letting me push sometimes.  I don't know why, but it's way fun.  Especially if it's really inconvenient for you : )

 

 

 

 

You make me feel big and independent. But like your little boy at the same time.

 

 

Thanks for making me toast, showing me how to do new things, and always lifting me to see so much.

Oh, and to top it off… you do it all pregnant too!

Wow…

Thanks for bringing me a baby brother or sister soon too.  Maybe on my birthday?

Thanks for playing games with me!

Well, I can’t say it all, but just know, especially on Mother’s Day, that I love you more than anything.  Know that every little thing you do, though not completely noticed by society, or by acquaintances, friends, or even by family like me sometimes… You make the REAL difference in the world. My world. And in turn many other little worlds by proximity to your gentle power.  It may be hard, frequently without visible reward, and straight up exhausting…

 

 

But I hope you know it’s worth it all. You are simply the best.

Thank you.

I love you,

Max

 

And I will second everything he said as if I said it myself : )

I love you Gina.

Happy Mother’s Day!*

 

* = !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby #2 Wishlist

Preparing for Baby #2 has been interesting. Not only am I reflecting on what I did/didn't need with Max, I am also taking into account the fact that we will be living a very transient lifestyle. I have to be able to travel light, comfortable and easily and with two kids that is hard even if you are settled down. 

I also learned that investing in quality pieces is crucial. I am all about a good deal and I thrift everything if possible, but some things cannot be thrifted and so my expensive taste comes out loud and clear. 

1. Petunia Pickle Bottom Diaper Bag. This bag is wipe-able  comes with straps to wear as a backpack, has a built in changing pad, plenty of room and is pretty darn cute. I know quite a few mommies who sing it's praises and have used it for multiple children. A backpack diaper bag will be crucial for managing two little ones, I am going to need as many free hands as I can get!

2.Ergo Carrier. We have a baby Bjorn and I have tried out an ergo and the difference is quite distinct. Most people consider double strollers with Baby #2 but because of our adventure year, we have no space for a double stroller. My plan is bring the umbrella stroller for Max and carry the new bundle. The Ergo is comfortable, lasts, is easily moved and comes recommended from many mamas.

3.BumGenius Cloth Diapers. We did cloth with Max and have loved it. The gross factor is quickly overcome and they have saved us a TON of money. We have mostly used the Elemental style on Max but have since tried the 4.0 and fell in love even more! We just need more to fill our stash. I am not positive we will be able to use cloth wherever we go because I have no idea what our living situation is next year and whether or not we will even have a washer/dryer but my plan is to plan on using them and if I have to, I will adapt.

4.Medela Electric Breastpump. This is the most expensive and the least needed item on my wishlist. I plan to exclusively breastfeed again but it is nice to have a pump in case I want to go out on a date or go exercise or just have the freedom to know that I can go. I had a manual pump with Max and although it did the job, it was so incredibly annoying to use and took forever. An electric pump just makes things a little easier and quicker. It's one of those I-could-live-without-but-would-be-nice-to-have items.

5.Chicco Lullaby LX Playard. Max has slept in a playard since he was born. We were living with my mother and there just wasn't space for a full-sized crib. Then we moved and our crib was from when I was a baby and was hefty and we would have had to buy a mattress and the playard just seemed easier at the time. So we stuck with it and Max still sleeps in it. Our plan is to repeat this process with Baby #2 especially since we will be moving multiple times over the year and doing so with mainly our car (at least that is the plan). 

So there is my wishlist for Baby #2. I call it a wishlist because it is exactly that, I don't expect any of it but boy oh boy would it be lovely to have a wish come true.

Preparing the Big Brother

(Prefers Daddy's hand to Mommy's when walking and HAD to hold the water bottle on his own)

People have been asking me lately if I think Max knows/understands that he is going to be a big brother. Honestly I think he is starting to grasp it a bit more, maybe not the whole "big brother" bit but we talk about the baby everyday and point to my belly. I have made a purpose to hold babies in his presence which always concerns him first but then he moves closer and smiles at the baby. He points out babies wherever we go but  really how much can you prepare an almost two year old who hardly grasps the concept of, "You may only watch one episode of Kipper."?

Lately there have been little signs though, he is going through a bit of separation anxiety particularly around nap time and especially when visitors come. He nuzzles into the bit of space left I have and hides his face in my shoulder. I admit I love it. It reminds me how little he once was and how he use to spend his entire day resting upon my chest moving only to eat, coo and sleep. I used to be pretty stern about him going down for his naps and now I find myself swooping in to rescue him from his tears, I let him relax against me and I watch as his breathing immediately slows down until he is in a deep sleep. Perhaps I should be prepping him for more independence but the immense love I feel for him in those moments coupled with the pregnancy hormones is like a drug to me. It relaxes me too. It helps me cherish these moments I have with him and as he rests upon me I ponder on how I will really manage two kids, dividing me time and attention and making sure that each of my children feels loved.

Then there is the question of, "How could I love another child as much as this one?" I have thought about it but for some reason it doesn't worry me. From talking and observing friends who have more than one child it clearly is not an issue. Plus I already feel a whole lot of love for this baby within me and I know my love for Max can't diminish. From what I hear, your heart just grows. I have faith in those words.

On the flip side of those few moments of separation anxiety, Max is really starting to gain independence on his own terms. He enjoys exploring, playing by himself and wandering away from me even after instructions to stop. It is fascinating to watch him explore everything around him from bugs to books. He loves walking on his own and is starting to understand when he has to hold my hand (i.e. crossing the street, parking lots, etc.) The world of a toddler is a fascinating one, both for me and him.

So I guess all this is to say that we are getting ready for this new baby. It is still a few months off but I remember how quickly those months pass and before I know it there will be a new bundle in my arms. A new bundle to love and cuddle and take care of. Not with the same one-on-one attention that Max received but this baby gets the bonus of a big brother, and this baby's big brother is awesome.